I want to make a list of things that I learned through this experience, something that perhaps can help you or you loved one who's in a similar situation as I was.
The first thing I should probably mention is you will have a ton of relatives and friends, and probably read a lot of stuff on the net about some natural cancer cure that has no side affects and that the government is hiding it for $ purposes or whatever other conspiracy. Get that out of your head--FAST. If there was such a cure, first of all you would find lots of statistics about its effectiveness.. and you wont.. cause I did a LOT of research, everything from Gerson Therapy, special tea, rubbing honey on the cancer spot, or seeing some crazy shaman to sticking a cucumber up your butt while it still attached to the bush.... yeah that exists out there. As for responding to your loved ones... tell them you will consult your doctor about it. Don't be angry at them, they are just very worried and are trying to do everything they can.
Get some hobbies that you can do at home. Like painting pottery, puzzles or other crafts. It might sound silly to you now, but, you will be spending a lot of time at home. And that stuff actually helps to focus on something else than being sick. And it helps time to pass by quickly-- something thats very important in the first few days after the chemo injection.
What helped me a lot was the fact that I asked Tanya to keep some pressure on me on home chores.. taking out the garbage, doing some vacuuming...etc It made me feel less useless, which was good feeling. But she was gentle enough to see when I was really sick and did all that herself. The loved ones will have to know the balance when to push and when to stop.
You have to be positive. In my case, the survival rate was above 90%... Thats way more than I ever got in school in terms of marks. Do your research, ask your doctor all the arising questions.
Marijuana... What I call the miracle drug. It made the whole process soooo much easier. You should first ask your doctor about it. But to me it was a life saver. If you are a conservative parent or caregiver who does not believe in "drugs". Fuck off. This is not about you. This is about someone who will be puking their guts out, just because you don't believe in it. If you are the patient and dont believe in it.. its time to be selfish and do what helps you. If I would be very stubborn.. I would have a cucumber up my butt right right now with a shaman rubbing honey on my stomach to cure my cancer.. Or if the anti nausea medicine they give you works.. go for it.
Its been some time now since my last chemo.. what to expect:
Prednisone stays about a year after you take the last pill. It makes your body store salts and water. So expect disproportionate weight gain. By that I mean, gaining more weight than you eat. Docs will tell you go easy on the sodium rich foods and water. I gained about 40lb while not eating more that justify anything above 20lb gain.
Looks like I got some nerve damage .. pinky and ring finger on left hand still feel tingly, and so is my toe on the right foot. I will ask about that during my next check up in mid Feb. But as far as I know, it either fixes itself or it doesnt.. Thats a chemo side affect.
Also writing this blog has helped and is helping me a lot. I was surprised how many followers from all over the world I get. Maybe you should start your own too!
feel free to email me with any questions: boolka@gmail.com
see you guys later!
My ongoing battle with Diffuse Large B Cell Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma stage 4B
Friday, December 21, 2012
Friday, November 9, 2012
CT Results are in!
Hello hello!
The ct scan results are back. They are clean as if mr.clean cleaned it!!!!!! This is excellent news!
Looks like I finally kicked the cancer's ass! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!
How do I feel now:
I still get pain in my spleen, quiet often, but not consistent. The spleen is normal size and spot free.. so its nothing to be concerned about at this point.
I gained all my weight back.. 200lb again. On this note, I went to the gym yesterday. Very noticeable difference in my strength. I used to bench press 265lb, now I can only do 135lb. But I am planning on signing up, and going there regularly.
I still feel tingly feeling in my right toe, sometimes it causes me discomfort to step on it. This is probably due to nerve damage by the chemo. My body supposed to fix it on its own, nothing can the docs do.
My hair changed for the better, where as I had curly and thin hair, now its thicker and straight. I still like it to keep it short, even bought a trimmer to cut it at home, Tanya helps.
What else? hmm.
Appetite is normal, although there are still days when I do not eat much, but mostly its cause I don't move much. With gym, I think that should change.
My teeth seem to be more sensitive now, not horribly sensitive, but it does get in the way at times. I will be checking that out with my dentist soon.
In about 3 months, I will have a check up with the oncologists, to make sure no lumps grow anywhere. If the cancer does come back, it will statistically do so within the first 2 years. Doc said there is about 30-40% it can come back, but he was hesitant to give me a number, I really had to squeeze it out of him. So crossing my fingers, not concentrating on that at all. Trying to live the life.
The ct scan results are back. They are clean as if mr.clean cleaned it!!!!!! This is excellent news!
Looks like I finally kicked the cancer's ass! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!
How do I feel now:
I still get pain in my spleen, quiet often, but not consistent. The spleen is normal size and spot free.. so its nothing to be concerned about at this point.
I gained all my weight back.. 200lb again. On this note, I went to the gym yesterday. Very noticeable difference in my strength. I used to bench press 265lb, now I can only do 135lb. But I am planning on signing up, and going there regularly.
I still feel tingly feeling in my right toe, sometimes it causes me discomfort to step on it. This is probably due to nerve damage by the chemo. My body supposed to fix it on its own, nothing can the docs do.
My hair changed for the better, where as I had curly and thin hair, now its thicker and straight. I still like it to keep it short, even bought a trimmer to cut it at home, Tanya helps.
What else? hmm.
Appetite is normal, although there are still days when I do not eat much, but mostly its cause I don't move much. With gym, I think that should change.
My teeth seem to be more sensitive now, not horribly sensitive, but it does get in the way at times. I will be checking that out with my dentist soon.
In about 3 months, I will have a check up with the oncologists, to make sure no lumps grow anywhere. If the cancer does come back, it will statistically do so within the first 2 years. Doc said there is about 30-40% it can come back, but he was hesitant to give me a number, I really had to squeeze it out of him. So crossing my fingers, not concentrating on that at all. Trying to live the life.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
It's been a while!
Its been a while since I last posted. I apologize for that.
So I've concluded my last 2 chemo sessions. They were typical, feeling crappy for the first 8-10 days, mouth sores..etc.
After about 3 months since my chemo #8, I had a PET Scan. The following week was a tough one, its the week of waiting for the result.
The result was not as to what I hoped for. There was still some spots on my spleen that lit up on the scan.
I actually got pretty upset and maybe even depressed for a couple days. But, I didn't let it out of control. And made an appointment with a councilor at the hospital. It took a lot out of me. I had to say out loud all the bad things that were going through my mind. And that was extremely hard for me - I am not a big talker when it come to my emotions. When I came home, I cried like a baby. But I felt better the next day. A lot better! It felt like a 1000 stones were lifted from my shoulders. Will I go again? No! But did it help? defiantly.
The doc, ordered another spleen biopsy.
The samples taken showed only dead cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The timing for the news could not have been more perfect, as when the doc called, me and Tanya were just heading out to Tobermory for a couple days of vacation.
I been gaining quiet a bit of weight, and defiantly more energy. I can finally be able to stay out till 3-4am!
More importantly, I finally could that what I didn't have for almost a year-- BEEEEEEEEER! It was everything I thought it could be and so much more!
What happens now? Now I wait. I have a CT scan coming up on October 24 I believe. I gotta double check that. With results following about a week after. Will report on the results... I promise.
Tanya started her school, and I am about to start trading again. So we cut hard on the 'medicine', which was not hard at all! So anyone thinking its addictive.. I say otherwise! But, I do enjoy one everyone now and then, its truly a remarkable experience. Tanya says I became wiser, I say its the weed!
Hopefully this is the end of this story.
So I've concluded my last 2 chemo sessions. They were typical, feeling crappy for the first 8-10 days, mouth sores..etc.
After about 3 months since my chemo #8, I had a PET Scan. The following week was a tough one, its the week of waiting for the result.
The result was not as to what I hoped for. There was still some spots on my spleen that lit up on the scan.
I actually got pretty upset and maybe even depressed for a couple days. But, I didn't let it out of control. And made an appointment with a councilor at the hospital. It took a lot out of me. I had to say out loud all the bad things that were going through my mind. And that was extremely hard for me - I am not a big talker when it come to my emotions. When I came home, I cried like a baby. But I felt better the next day. A lot better! It felt like a 1000 stones were lifted from my shoulders. Will I go again? No! But did it help? defiantly.
The doc, ordered another spleen biopsy.
The samples taken showed only dead cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The timing for the news could not have been more perfect, as when the doc called, me and Tanya were just heading out to Tobermory for a couple days of vacation.
I been gaining quiet a bit of weight, and defiantly more energy. I can finally be able to stay out till 3-4am!
More importantly, I finally could that what I didn't have for almost a year-- BEEEEEEEEER! It was everything I thought it could be and so much more!
What happens now? Now I wait. I have a CT scan coming up on October 24 I believe. I gotta double check that. With results following about a week after. Will report on the results... I promise.
Tanya started her school, and I am about to start trading again. So we cut hard on the 'medicine', which was not hard at all! So anyone thinking its addictive.. I say otherwise! But, I do enjoy one everyone now and then, its truly a remarkable experience. Tanya says I became wiser, I say its the weed!
Hopefully this is the end of this story.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Update!
A lot has been happening in my life that prevented me from posting including a fair share of laziness.
I been helping my parents sell their house and buy a condo, and move to a new bigger apartment myself.
I have concluded my 5th and 6th chemo treatments. They both were less than pleasant. Still fighting mouth sores from the 6th chemo. I don't know what I have to do to avoid them. I been brushing my teeth 3 times a day and washing my hand like 6 times a day. Still got them.
The ct scan from my 3rd chemo showed significant improvements along with some bad stuff. The good news is that my spleen and the lesions on it have significantly decreased in size. The same goes for the lymph nodes. But they were still abnormal. The bad news is that they suspect that I have lymphoma in parts of my spine T3, T9-T12 vertebrae, and on a couple of ribs. When I asked about that, they told me that it was there from the beginning, but nobody told me about that.
Today I got the news from my post 6th chemo ct scan. Again, progress ... lymph node shrank in size from 4.5cm to 2.9cm ( 1.5cm is considered normal, anything above is not normal). And my spleen with the lesions on it shrank. This is all great news, but not good enough. I was hoping to be done. Instead I have to do 2 more chemo sessions, 8 in total.
My overall energy is way up. More than I had before I started chemo. Obviously this is only in between chemo, but still noticeable. It's finally harvest season, and I been able to get my hands on some good organic marijuana, that's been given as much personal care as Kobe Beef. It really makes a difference. Special thanks goes to that person, you know who you are.
I am mentally strong as ever. A bit bummed out but not giving up. There is no choice but to remain strong.
I am not sad. I am not scared. I do not regret.
This whole experience made me a better and stronger person. If I had the choice, I would not change this part of my life.
I been helping my parents sell their house and buy a condo, and move to a new bigger apartment myself.
I have concluded my 5th and 6th chemo treatments. They both were less than pleasant. Still fighting mouth sores from the 6th chemo. I don't know what I have to do to avoid them. I been brushing my teeth 3 times a day and washing my hand like 6 times a day. Still got them.
The ct scan from my 3rd chemo showed significant improvements along with some bad stuff. The good news is that my spleen and the lesions on it have significantly decreased in size. The same goes for the lymph nodes. But they were still abnormal. The bad news is that they suspect that I have lymphoma in parts of my spine T3, T9-T12 vertebrae, and on a couple of ribs. When I asked about that, they told me that it was there from the beginning, but nobody told me about that.
Today I got the news from my post 6th chemo ct scan. Again, progress ... lymph node shrank in size from 4.5cm to 2.9cm ( 1.5cm is considered normal, anything above is not normal). And my spleen with the lesions on it shrank. This is all great news, but not good enough. I was hoping to be done. Instead I have to do 2 more chemo sessions, 8 in total.
My overall energy is way up. More than I had before I started chemo. Obviously this is only in between chemo, but still noticeable. It's finally harvest season, and I been able to get my hands on some good organic marijuana, that's been given as much personal care as Kobe Beef. It really makes a difference. Special thanks goes to that person, you know who you are.
I am mentally strong as ever. A bit bummed out but not giving up. There is no choice but to remain strong.
I am not sad. I am not scared. I do not regret.
This whole experience made me a better and stronger person. If I had the choice, I would not change this part of my life.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Im back!
Sorry guys that I haven't posted anything in a while. I have been keeping myself very busy, and my computer dying on me didn't help either.
First thing first, the radiologist report came back and confirmed what the doc said. The tumor is shrinking and so is the spleen! But, the doc said it is still too early to say if I need additional chemo after the 6 sessions are done. I will have a PET scan after the 6th.
This round of chemo I've been a lot better than the previous sessions. Perhaps it's because I been "medicating" non stop for the first week or so. It's actually kinda hard to be high all the time for a week. And I was glad to be off it for the last 10 days or so.
I have been experiencing extreme fatigue and weakness last 2 days. But I kept pushing myself to do a lot of chores. Which sometimes lets me forget that I'm tired. With the computer down, my productivity went up 2343% I am kind of glad to take a break from it.
Tanya started a new job, in a place that's way up north. I get to drive through the country side, which for me, is better than any medicine. On the way back, I slow down, and enjoy the fresh air, and the scenery. It's practically narcotic for me. I feel like I'm on top of the world for that moment.
The extreme sensitivity in my lower teeth seem to fade a little. But I started bleeding from my gums easily.
I will bring this up with doc when I see her on the 23rd. From what I have read there isn't much they can do about it. And it's nothing big to worry about at this point.
If 6 sessions all I have to do, I am planning to put myself through the Spartan Race in Toronto in June.
If you haven't heard about it, here is a little video of what it's all about:
And I am planning on winning it!
First thing first, the radiologist report came back and confirmed what the doc said. The tumor is shrinking and so is the spleen! But, the doc said it is still too early to say if I need additional chemo after the 6 sessions are done. I will have a PET scan after the 6th.
This round of chemo I've been a lot better than the previous sessions. Perhaps it's because I been "medicating" non stop for the first week or so. It's actually kinda hard to be high all the time for a week. And I was glad to be off it for the last 10 days or so.
I have been experiencing extreme fatigue and weakness last 2 days. But I kept pushing myself to do a lot of chores. Which sometimes lets me forget that I'm tired. With the computer down, my productivity went up 2343% I am kind of glad to take a break from it.
Tanya started a new job, in a place that's way up north. I get to drive through the country side, which for me, is better than any medicine. On the way back, I slow down, and enjoy the fresh air, and the scenery. It's practically narcotic for me. I feel like I'm on top of the world for that moment.
The extreme sensitivity in my lower teeth seem to fade a little. But I started bleeding from my gums easily.
I will bring this up with doc when I see her on the 23rd. From what I have read there isn't much they can do about it. And it's nothing big to worry about at this point.
If 6 sessions all I have to do, I am planning to put myself through the Spartan Race in Toronto in June.
If you haven't heard about it, here is a little video of what it's all about:
And I am planning on winning it!
Monday, April 2, 2012
Check Up Before Chemo #4
Today I had the check up done. Everyone around me was nervous about this day. I for some reason was very calm. Waiting for an extra hour and 20 min or so past my scheduled time didn't make it any easier.
I had a number of things I planned to find out: CT scan results, the issue with the teeth sensitivity and decay (got 2 little holes that I can see), loss of appetite, my coughing + ear pain when I swallow, and a diet plan.
CT scan showed that the tumor on my sleep has considerably shrank. YES!!!! (but expected, since I no longer have the 2 golf ball sized lump). But the radiologist hasn't completed the report on the scan yet, so all the details are not known. For example, I don't know if the spot they saw on the liver has disappeared or not (if it has, then it was lymphoma) I am supposed to give them a call in few days to find out the full report.
About the teeth - She was surprised as she, the doc on Dr.Crump's team, never heard of that being a symptom of chemo. I told her that from my research, it's not a common symptom. That's when she decided to ask Dr.Crump, who said he encountered it only a few times. He said that there is nothing he can do, and recommended that I see a dentist.
When I asked about the loss of appetite, I was surprised. I was told that "hopefully prednisone (the steroids) and marijuana will help with that." ...I know... I know..
@#$%^
...I know.
She checked out my ear and my throat. Looks like its clean. Doc said that if it doesn't pass within a week to call them. I think I won't wait for that, and schedule an appointment with my family doc. I want to be sure 100%. I think the family doc encounters these types of problems more often than an oncologist.
I should be eating everything I want pretty much. There is no special diet to follow. But from my research I should be avoiding acidic foods like oranges, apples, and lemons. I've read that it helps with oral issues. However, it was from forums and nothing like Cancer Society or a gov website. But then again, its not hard to try and it just might work!
I will be scheduled for a PET scan after chemo #6, at which point I will know if I need any more chemo or not. I really am crossing my fingers here.
I am ready to go to chemo #4 tomorrow at 10am.
I had a number of things I planned to find out: CT scan results, the issue with the teeth sensitivity and decay (got 2 little holes that I can see), loss of appetite, my coughing + ear pain when I swallow, and a diet plan.
CT scan showed that the tumor on my sleep has considerably shrank. YES!!!! (but expected, since I no longer have the 2 golf ball sized lump). But the radiologist hasn't completed the report on the scan yet, so all the details are not known. For example, I don't know if the spot they saw on the liver has disappeared or not (if it has, then it was lymphoma) I am supposed to give them a call in few days to find out the full report.
About the teeth - She was surprised as she, the doc on Dr.Crump's team, never heard of that being a symptom of chemo. I told her that from my research, it's not a common symptom. That's when she decided to ask Dr.Crump, who said he encountered it only a few times. He said that there is nothing he can do, and recommended that I see a dentist.
When I asked about the loss of appetite, I was surprised. I was told that "hopefully prednisone (the steroids) and marijuana will help with that." ...I know... I know..
@#$%^
...I know.
She checked out my ear and my throat. Looks like its clean. Doc said that if it doesn't pass within a week to call them. I think I won't wait for that, and schedule an appointment with my family doc. I want to be sure 100%. I think the family doc encounters these types of problems more often than an oncologist.
I should be eating everything I want pretty much. There is no special diet to follow. But from my research I should be avoiding acidic foods like oranges, apples, and lemons. I've read that it helps with oral issues. However, it was from forums and nothing like Cancer Society or a gov website. But then again, its not hard to try and it just might work!
I will be scheduled for a PET scan after chemo #6, at which point I will know if I need any more chemo or not. I really am crossing my fingers here.
I am ready to go to chemo #4 tomorrow at 10am.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Sorry I haven't posted anything for a while. I got busy with some stuff, and felt bad on other days where I just didn't want to get up from our new comfy couch.
I got an interesting new symptom. I got an area on top of my head, slightly to the ride side, that is very sensitive. It's about a square inch in size and does not differ in color or texture. Just sensitive when I touch it.
I also noticed that my front lower teeth, specifically 3 of them, are also sensitive. Sometimes they feel tingly and numb.
I have caught a small cold. My throat hurts a little, and I a cough a lot. There is no temperature, I check it often.
Hopefully with some old school honey-tea-lemon therapy this will go away.
Status update regarding my marijuana licence:
I've sent all the documents needed to the compassionate care center of Toronto. They said everything will take about 2 weeks to process. And it still be illegal officially. The only way to make it all kosher, is to go through a minimum of 12 week waiting period through the gov. I asked if there is a way to speed up the process, and the lady at the gov agency told me that only if the doctors says that I am terminal.
The compassionate center should hook me up with some quality medicinal grade stuff regardless if I got the licence or not. :-)
Below is a pic of all the medicine that I used to take to combat the symptoms. None of the drugs effectively combat the symptoms. You also see a joint, half of it is just a paper filter.. there's not much marijuana in there.. maybe 1/5 of a gram. And it does an amazing job of taking care of the symptoms.
That being said. I am extremely upset at my government for making such a hassle to get a licence. I mean if a doctor says it helps, not just the patient. What business does a politician have in preventing it from being accessible in a controlled manner, just like any other prescription drug.
Ok, I am done venting!
I got a ct scan coming up on the 30th, with doc appointment soon after, and finally chemo #4 on April 3.
Hopefully, the doc will say that everything is going as it should and that 6 chemo sessions is all that needed. I am really crossing my fingers for that. I am really not looking forward for my next chemo. But I've made it this far, not going to quit now!
I will let you guys know how my ct scan goes asap!
I got an interesting new symptom. I got an area on top of my head, slightly to the ride side, that is very sensitive. It's about a square inch in size and does not differ in color or texture. Just sensitive when I touch it.
I also noticed that my front lower teeth, specifically 3 of them, are also sensitive. Sometimes they feel tingly and numb.
I have caught a small cold. My throat hurts a little, and I a cough a lot. There is no temperature, I check it often.
Hopefully with some old school honey-tea-lemon therapy this will go away.
Status update regarding my marijuana licence:
I've sent all the documents needed to the compassionate care center of Toronto. They said everything will take about 2 weeks to process. And it still be illegal officially. The only way to make it all kosher, is to go through a minimum of 12 week waiting period through the gov. I asked if there is a way to speed up the process, and the lady at the gov agency told me that only if the doctors says that I am terminal.
The compassionate center should hook me up with some quality medicinal grade stuff regardless if I got the licence or not. :-)
Below is a pic of all the medicine that I used to take to combat the symptoms. None of the drugs effectively combat the symptoms. You also see a joint, half of it is just a paper filter.. there's not much marijuana in there.. maybe 1/5 of a gram. And it does an amazing job of taking care of the symptoms.
That being said. I am extremely upset at my government for making such a hassle to get a licence. I mean if a doctor says it helps, not just the patient. What business does a politician have in preventing it from being accessible in a controlled manner, just like any other prescription drug.
Ok, I am done venting!
I got a ct scan coming up on the 30th, with doc appointment soon after, and finally chemo #4 on April 3.
Hopefully, the doc will say that everything is going as it should and that 6 chemo sessions is all that needed. I am really crossing my fingers for that. I am really not looking forward for my next chemo. But I've made it this far, not going to quit now!
I will let you guys know how my ct scan goes asap!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
I finally feel a little better today, enough to write a new post. I have never been so exhausted like I was the last few days. Not even, after 10 hours digging holes in the ground with a shovel. I had a nice 10 hour sleep today, without any marijuana. Spent most of the morning outside today, its a very sunny day outside.
I am ultra sensitive to smells. Our toilet freshener acts about the same as a bug-spray on a bug. Just lethal. I get very nauseous really fast. Next time I'll need to induce vomit, I will just smell that spray. The funny part is, that I picked it when we were shopping, before the chemo.
I am also having some sour-metallic taste in my mouth. I've read that chemo can affect the taste since taste-buds also regenerate quickly, thus attacked by the chemo. I have noticed a slight change in taste when eating, stuff tastes like water a little bit.
No mouth sores so far! I been brushing like crazy. I am really glad the sores didn't come back. I've read another's patient blog and he said he would get the sores after each chemo. So I guess I'm lucky in that respect so far, fingers crossed.
I am ultra sensitive to smells. Our toilet freshener acts about the same as a bug-spray on a bug. Just lethal. I get very nauseous really fast. Next time I'll need to induce vomit, I will just smell that spray. The funny part is, that I picked it when we were shopping, before the chemo.
I am also having some sour-metallic taste in my mouth. I've read that chemo can affect the taste since taste-buds also regenerate quickly, thus attacked by the chemo. I have noticed a slight change in taste when eating, stuff tastes like water a little bit.
No mouth sores so far! I been brushing like crazy. I am really glad the sores didn't come back. I've read another's patient blog and he said he would get the sores after each chemo. So I guess I'm lucky in that respect so far, fingers crossed.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
2 days after chemo #3
Marijuana seems to do its magic as many other patients say it does. It almost eliminates any sensation of nausea for about 1.5 -2 hours. It also allowed me to sleep last night like a baby. The nausea seems to be a lot stronger than previous round of chemo. I did vomit quite a bit yesterday, just as the "high" faded away. I did feel a lot better are vomiting, but the nausea feeling came back just a couple hours later. A little bit of marijuana fixed it.
I did call my doc for a new pill for to control the nausea. I cant be stoned all day long. It's defiantly better than the alternative for now, but I would like to also have a pill that will allow me be functional for the day.
The weakness increased considerably, I just hope that it's only for the first few days and will fade away eventually.
Will I be trying to get a prescription for marijuana? Absolutely. I know that it works, and I don't know if the pill the doc will give me will work. Besides, the pill will not allow me to sleep like marijuana does. At least until I'm done with the steroids.
I have been thirsty a lot, and been drinking water non stop. Also, I increased my oral hygiene, the last thing I want is the mouth sores to come back.
I will let you know how the new pills are working as soon as I try them. Once I get a little more energy, I'll make my trip to the doc and get the marijuana prescription.
I did call my doc for a new pill for to control the nausea. I cant be stoned all day long. It's defiantly better than the alternative for now, but I would like to also have a pill that will allow me be functional for the day.
The weakness increased considerably, I just hope that it's only for the first few days and will fade away eventually.
Will I be trying to get a prescription for marijuana? Absolutely. I know that it works, and I don't know if the pill the doc will give me will work. Besides, the pill will not allow me to sleep like marijuana does. At least until I'm done with the steroids.
I have been thirsty a lot, and been drinking water non stop. Also, I increased my oral hygiene, the last thing I want is the mouth sores to come back.
I will let you know how the new pills are working as soon as I try them. Once I get a little more energy, I'll make my trip to the doc and get the marijuana prescription.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Getting Ready for Chemo #3
It's 9am, and I've been awake for an hour and a half already. In just about 2 hours I will be getting my third chemo. I am no longer neutral towards chemo, as I've learned to hate the side affects. But instead of being depressed about it, I've been preparing for it.
I really hope it makes the nausea better, and gives me the ability to sleep for the next 10 or so days. If it works, I will be coming to my family doc today and asking for prescription. I really do think it will help. I am a firm believer in all things natural. Maybe it's a placebo affect, or not. I hope it helps.
I will write more often during the days after chemo.
I really hope it makes the nausea better, and gives me the ability to sleep for the next 10 or so days. If it works, I will be coming to my family doc today and asking for prescription. I really do think it will help. I am a firm believer in all things natural. Maybe it's a placebo affect, or not. I hope it helps.
I will write more often during the days after chemo.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Possible Digestive Issues
Yesterday I had a scare. I went to the washroom, and saw a lot of blood in my stool. This has never happened to me before in my life. I immediately called the oncologist, and had an appointment scheduled the next morning 9am (today). Meanwhile, I started searching online for answers. From my research this could a side affect from the Cyclophosphamide drug in the RCHOP regimen. That drug lowers the platelets (see through liquid in which red and white blood swim, its responsible for clotting and preventing bleeding).
I also had a day when my stool was very black, almost charcoal color. It happened once, and was fine after. I looked it up, and it seems to be a common side affect. There is no need to do anything about it right now, but something to watch.
Today in the morning I did a blood test, my platelets levels are fine for a chemo patient. My doc didn't have a good idea why it happened, but she gave me some food softeners (not a laxative) to help with the digestion.
I was told that if it happens again, I would be directed to a gastrointestinal (GI) doc, who will put a camera up my butt, and see whats going on. I really really really hope it doesn't happen again.
I still get tired on daily basis, and my beard started to fall out. I carefully examined 1 beard hair, and it seems that the root is almost 2x thinner than the body. This falls in line with the side affects of chemo, hair thinning.
My chemo #3 is coming up on the 13th of March. I asked my doc again about trying marijuana, she was hesitant, I felt as if she had a personal vendetta against using pot for genuine reasons. The pills don't seem to work very well, of course there are other pills I can try, but there are so many and it seems the only way to find the one that works is through trial and error. Like I said before, I am against pills, if there are natural alternatives that work..who isn't? So meanwhile, I have secured some quality marijuana, and I will test it after my chemo. If it does, I will insist on getting a prescription.
I can also say that I no longer have a neutral attitude towards chemo I had the first 2 rounds. I am now not looking forward to it at all. The overall symptoms and side affects seem to be intensifying with each round. But by no means I am scared or anything. I still maintain that I have felt worse after some hardcore partying.
Also, being bald is awesome. All my friends say it looks pretty good, and I really like the fact that I don't have to brush it, and my head is dry after shower. I might actually keep the baldness after chemo.
I also had a day when my stool was very black, almost charcoal color. It happened once, and was fine after. I looked it up, and it seems to be a common side affect. There is no need to do anything about it right now, but something to watch.
Today in the morning I did a blood test, my platelets levels are fine for a chemo patient. My doc didn't have a good idea why it happened, but she gave me some food softeners (not a laxative) to help with the digestion.
I was told that if it happens again, I would be directed to a gastrointestinal (GI) doc, who will put a camera up my butt, and see whats going on. I really really really hope it doesn't happen again.
I still get tired on daily basis, and my beard started to fall out. I carefully examined 1 beard hair, and it seems that the root is almost 2x thinner than the body. This falls in line with the side affects of chemo, hair thinning.
My chemo #3 is coming up on the 13th of March. I asked my doc again about trying marijuana, she was hesitant, I felt as if she had a personal vendetta against using pot for genuine reasons. The pills don't seem to work very well, of course there are other pills I can try, but there are so many and it seems the only way to find the one that works is through trial and error. Like I said before, I am against pills, if there are natural alternatives that work..who isn't? So meanwhile, I have secured some quality marijuana, and I will test it after my chemo. If it does, I will insist on getting a prescription.
I can also say that I no longer have a neutral attitude towards chemo I had the first 2 rounds. I am now not looking forward to it at all. The overall symptoms and side affects seem to be intensifying with each round. But by no means I am scared or anything. I still maintain that I have felt worse after some hardcore partying.
Also, being bald is awesome. All my friends say it looks pretty good, and I really like the fact that I don't have to brush it, and my head is dry after shower. I might actually keep the baldness after chemo.
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Chemo Brain
Chemo Brain - term used to describe confusion, inability to concentrate, disorientation. An occasional side affect from chemo drug Cyclophosphamide.
I seem to be experiencing that more often now. It usually last for under a minute, just a moment when you can't quickly form an answer to a simple question.
Two days ago I had a Chemo Brain Fart, if you will, that lasted about 20 min. I was driving to get an oil change for the car, in an area that was known to me. I decided to cut through a plaza to avoid some traffic on an intersection, and turn right. I did exactly that, except when I drove 5 min in the correct direction I instantly felt like I was going the wrong way turned around and went the opposite direction for a few blocks, when again I felt like I was going the wrong way, turned back and went a different way at that intersection. In the end, I did this 4 times, going every way on that intersection, going a few blocks and then turning around. Finally I realized that my initial cut through the plaza was correct and I got to the oil change place.
I felt like I was completely disoriented and didn't know the right way was. Although, my driving ability was not compromised, it felt scary. I didn't even change my oil at that place because they wanted to charge me way too much. Bummer.
The day after, I had a small incident when I could not formulate an answer. That lasted only seconds, but I still noticed it.
This will certainly be up high on the list of things I will talk to my doctor when I see him.
The muscle pain seems to be more tolerable now. Could be the potassium rich food I been eating. I still get tired/exhausted randomly throughout the day to the point where I need to drop everything I'm doing and sit down. Also, as of yesterday evening, my spleen started to annoy me a little. I would rate the pain about 4 out of 10. More of a discomfort really. But it again prevents me from sleeping on my side.
I push myself to be active by visiting friends, family and going out as much as I can. Tanya keeps me on my toes as well.
I seem to be experiencing that more often now. It usually last for under a minute, just a moment when you can't quickly form an answer to a simple question.
Two days ago I had a Chemo Brain Fart, if you will, that lasted about 20 min. I was driving to get an oil change for the car, in an area that was known to me. I decided to cut through a plaza to avoid some traffic on an intersection, and turn right. I did exactly that, except when I drove 5 min in the correct direction I instantly felt like I was going the wrong way turned around and went the opposite direction for a few blocks, when again I felt like I was going the wrong way, turned back and went a different way at that intersection. In the end, I did this 4 times, going every way on that intersection, going a few blocks and then turning around. Finally I realized that my initial cut through the plaza was correct and I got to the oil change place.
I felt like I was completely disoriented and didn't know the right way was. Although, my driving ability was not compromised, it felt scary. I didn't even change my oil at that place because they wanted to charge me way too much. Bummer.
The day after, I had a small incident when I could not formulate an answer. That lasted only seconds, but I still noticed it.
This will certainly be up high on the list of things I will talk to my doctor when I see him.
The muscle pain seems to be more tolerable now. Could be the potassium rich food I been eating. I still get tired/exhausted randomly throughout the day to the point where I need to drop everything I'm doing and sit down. Also, as of yesterday evening, my spleen started to annoy me a little. I would rate the pain about 4 out of 10. More of a discomfort really. But it again prevents me from sleeping on my side.
I push myself to be active by visiting friends, family and going out as much as I can. Tanya keeps me on my toes as well.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Tired
I find myself absolutely exhausted. I wake up tired. My muscles have a constant dull pressure/pain, especially in my biceps, triceps, and shoulders. I also feel it in my legs sometimes, but not as bad. But it seems to progress (didn't feel it in the legs before). The feeling is the same as the day after a good 3 hours workout, but its constant, 24 hrs a day.
It doesn't matter what I do, I always seem completely drained out of energy. Even when I wake up, i'm tired already.
On the good note though, the nausea has considerably decreased - which is pure awesomeness. I can now have the pleasure of eating. Ah, the things we take for granted.
I keep pushing myself though, always doing something active. Going to theater shows, teaching Tanya how to drive - shes doing great, and visiting friends.
My oncologist called me today, to check up, said I should try to stay active, so my muscles and bones don't dry out. So I guess I'm doing the right thing.
I googled and found many people saying that lots of potassium helps with the muscle pain. So I will eat lots of potassium rich food and will let you know how it goes.
Also I received the good news from Ontario Works - they approved my application, so I should receive some moneys soon. And I've done all the paperwork for Ontario Disability Support Program so far, we'll see how it goes, should be around 4 months before it gets approved.
It doesn't matter what I do, I always seem completely drained out of energy. Even when I wake up, i'm tired already.
On the good note though, the nausea has considerably decreased - which is pure awesomeness. I can now have the pleasure of eating. Ah, the things we take for granted.
I keep pushing myself though, always doing something active. Going to theater shows, teaching Tanya how to drive - shes doing great, and visiting friends.
My oncologist called me today, to check up, said I should try to stay active, so my muscles and bones don't dry out. So I guess I'm doing the right thing.
I googled and found many people saying that lots of potassium helps with the muscle pain. So I will eat lots of potassium rich food and will let you know how it goes.
Also I received the good news from Ontario Works - they approved my application, so I should receive some moneys soon. And I've done all the paperwork for Ontario Disability Support Program so far, we'll see how it goes, should be around 4 months before it gets approved.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
First day of no steroids!
Finally I can wake up without taking the damn steroids. I been waiting for day for a while now. I actually felt a lot better yesterday already, nausea & sleeping wise.
We've been having some strong winds here recently, and I think I might be catching a cold. Which is really not good. So I started drinking 1-2 Tylenol extra strength a day, whenever I feel a headache or a sore throat. Also ate 3 garlic heads yesterday before I went to sleep, that should help.
I even started wearing Tanya's scarf when I go out because I cant find mine. Getting sick right now, even with a small cold could have really bad consequences for me due to my lowered white blood cell count. I measure my temperature 10 times a day right now, if it hits 38C, I have to go to emergency room.
I seem to be experiencing extreme tiredness in my arms (biceps and triceps) and shoulders. I'm monitoring this symptom very closely, because chemo can cause permanent numbness in some parts of the body. I hope this isn't it. If anything, I already know my oncologist's phone number by heart.
Overall, I'm quiet happy that I been able to get somewhat normal sleep lately.. going to sleep around 2am, and waking up at 8am, and sleeping pretty much uninterrupted.
I still feel completely exhausted by 9-10pm. But this gives me time to explore new things to do at home. Tanya started reading me a very famous Russian book, something I would have never do on my own. Still working on figuring out my electronics project that I want to do. But I got plenty of time for that!
We've been having some strong winds here recently, and I think I might be catching a cold. Which is really not good. So I started drinking 1-2 Tylenol extra strength a day, whenever I feel a headache or a sore throat. Also ate 3 garlic heads yesterday before I went to sleep, that should help.
I even started wearing Tanya's scarf when I go out because I cant find mine. Getting sick right now, even with a small cold could have really bad consequences for me due to my lowered white blood cell count. I measure my temperature 10 times a day right now, if it hits 38C, I have to go to emergency room.
I seem to be experiencing extreme tiredness in my arms (biceps and triceps) and shoulders. I'm monitoring this symptom very closely, because chemo can cause permanent numbness in some parts of the body. I hope this isn't it. If anything, I already know my oncologist's phone number by heart.
Overall, I'm quiet happy that I been able to get somewhat normal sleep lately.. going to sleep around 2am, and waking up at 8am, and sleeping pretty much uninterrupted.
I still feel completely exhausted by 9-10pm. But this gives me time to explore new things to do at home. Tanya started reading me a very famous Russian book, something I would have never do on my own. Still working on figuring out my electronics project that I want to do. But I got plenty of time for that!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Day 1 after chemo #2
Yesterday I been feeling nauseous all day. Finally I let it rip in the evening. I think I puked out everything that I've eaten that day. I felt so much better after thought.. finally some relief.
I even felt asleep for an hour two. Spent the rest of the night rolling around the bed, till finally 6:30 am I woke up and started browsing the net. Trying to find out if I should fight the nauseous feeling or just surrender to it. The body probably knows better than my conscious self what it needs to do.
In the meanwhile, I will be drinking lots and lots of water and tea to prevent dehydration. If I feel alright today, I'll try to visit my doc and get that prescription for medicinal marijuana. I'm hoping it will kill the nausea and give me back the ability to sleep.
Also, when I was receiving my chemo, the nurse said that my white blood cell count was low. That means the chemo is doing it's job and I should really be careful and avoid public places, as I can get infected a lot easier now.
I even felt asleep for an hour two. Spent the rest of the night rolling around the bed, till finally 6:30 am I woke up and started browsing the net. Trying to find out if I should fight the nauseous feeling or just surrender to it. The body probably knows better than my conscious self what it needs to do.
In the meanwhile, I will be drinking lots and lots of water and tea to prevent dehydration. If I feel alright today, I'll try to visit my doc and get that prescription for medicinal marijuana. I'm hoping it will kill the nausea and give me back the ability to sleep.
Also, when I was receiving my chemo, the nurse said that my white blood cell count was low. That means the chemo is doing it's job and I should really be careful and avoid public places, as I can get infected a lot easier now.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Chemo #2
Had my second chemo today. The nice part is that Canadian Cancer Society got me a ride there and back for free. The crappy part is that I've already taken the sleeping and nausea pills, and 1 hour since I still can't fall asleep and feel nauseous.
Symptoms are the same as during chemo number. Feeling very very tired. Feel like you just went for a 2 hours walk, came home and took a bath and want to sleep --- but can't. I think its from the Prednisone (steroid).. if that's the case, then my next 5 days will be very similar like last time. With the exception of sleeping pills not working.
Feels like there is a war brewing in my chest. I feel the nausea, then something tries to minimize the feeling, then it comes back. It's like the pill is struggling to work.
I think I will ask my doc for a medicinal marijuana prescription. I've asked the nurse weather a lot of patients use it.. she said yes. I hear that it helps with the nausea, sleeping and eating. I rather take some grass then 10 different pills.
Today's chemo lasted about 4.5 hours.. longer than the 2-3 I was promised.
It's 1:00am now, way past my usual bed time of 11pm. Sitting here, and exploring new ideas for a new hobby of mine.. soldering/electronics. I think I want to build something flying and remote controlled.
Symptoms are the same as during chemo number. Feeling very very tired. Feel like you just went for a 2 hours walk, came home and took a bath and want to sleep --- but can't. I think its from the Prednisone (steroid).. if that's the case, then my next 5 days will be very similar like last time. With the exception of sleeping pills not working.
Feels like there is a war brewing in my chest. I feel the nausea, then something tries to minimize the feeling, then it comes back. It's like the pill is struggling to work.
I think I will ask my doc for a medicinal marijuana prescription. I've asked the nurse weather a lot of patients use it.. she said yes. I hear that it helps with the nausea, sleeping and eating. I rather take some grass then 10 different pills.
Today's chemo lasted about 4.5 hours.. longer than the 2-3 I was promised.
It's 1:00am now, way past my usual bed time of 11pm. Sitting here, and exploring new ideas for a new hobby of mine.. soldering/electronics. I think I want to build something flying and remote controlled.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Im Bald!
Well that day has finally arrived. My hair was falling out fairly quick, but what made shave it off is the sensitivity of the scalp. I could not wash the hair, because it hurt a lot. Could not even wear a hat or even lay on a pillow.
So it had to go.
I did have some fun with it and of course made some pics of it for you all.
The beard is also sensitive and slowly falling out. But I wont shave it till I have too. It's been growing very slow and it took me years to grow that!
Tomorrow is my check up appointment with my oncologist. My biggest complaint at this point are my mouse sores... eating becoming very hard. Whenever I rinse its extremely painful.. I will ask for a prescription rinse that many recommend.
Energy levels are up!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Hair falling out!
About an hour ago I was sitting, and just feeling my hair, when I noticed it started to fall out. There are no words to describe it, so I made a little video, so you can see exactly how it is.
I will have to start doing my haircuts sooner than I thought.
I am not worried about this at all, as I never had great hair. In fact, I will be looking forward for my new hair. There is a chance that it will be slightly different color and texture.. I think it can only get better!
p.s.
Happy Valentine's Day!
the sound is very quiet .. so make turn up your speakers a little.
Happy Valentine's Day!
the sound is very quiet .. so make turn up your speakers a little.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Mouth Sores!!
The mouth sores are starting to be a real problem for me. I got a really really bad one on the lower jaw between the teeth and the lip. This makes eating an apple or anything where you have to bite off a piece a real nightmare. Even laughing right now is really painful. It doesn't really hurt, more annoying, when I don't open my mouth or smile. But when I do.. on a scale 1-10.. I would say its a 12.
Today my hair on my head started to hurt when I touch it or wear a hat. It's not very painful, about 4 out of 10. This would be time when my hair should start falling out.. about 2-3 weeks after first chemo.
Lynda, my friend's (Justin) mom, mentioned about the scalp hurting before the hair falls out... I guess this is it. I will start looking for funny and cool haircuts I can try before I shave it all off.
I've also been in contact with CancerCare - a really great organization that offers free rides to the hospital for chemo and other appointments. They also connect cancer patients and their families together, so that newly diagnosed can learn tips and ticks that will make life easier.
Also I contacted WellSpring - also amazing organization that helps you file all the necessary paperwork to get financial assistance from the government. They are in regular contact with the government staff.. and are able to make your application process a lot faster.
I am very happy that I live in Canada, and would not trade out healthcare for any other in the world. I never expected so much support from different organizations and government.
Today my hair on my head started to hurt when I touch it or wear a hat. It's not very painful, about 4 out of 10. This would be time when my hair should start falling out.. about 2-3 weeks after first chemo.
Lynda, my friend's (Justin) mom, mentioned about the scalp hurting before the hair falls out... I guess this is it. I will start looking for funny and cool haircuts I can try before I shave it all off.
I've also been in contact with CancerCare - a really great organization that offers free rides to the hospital for chemo and other appointments. They also connect cancer patients and their families together, so that newly diagnosed can learn tips and ticks that will make life easier.
Also I contacted WellSpring - also amazing organization that helps you file all the necessary paperwork to get financial assistance from the government. They are in regular contact with the government staff.. and are able to make your application process a lot faster.
I am very happy that I live in Canada, and would not trade out healthcare for any other in the world. I never expected so much support from different organizations and government.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Update report
Good stuff:
I noticed that I have stopped itching.. yay!
My sleep has been getting a lot better.
My apatite is a lot better, in fact it seems that I cant stop eating.
Bad stuff:
My spleen has been hurting a lot more lately. Sometimes its continuous pain and sometimes its pulsating. I find that early in the morning the pain is either not there or very small. In the evening it seems to intensify. My doc said to take extra strength Tylenol, it seems to sorta work.. reduces the pain but doesn't eliminate it.
Also when I breath, the pain seem to go from spleen to my left shoulder.
There is a pinpoint on my right side (liver side) where I get even stronger pain than the spleen.
I went to see the doc today, he said my spleen seems to be smaller (good thing) but the fact that I have pain its a bad thing. We did a CT scan, and should have the results soon. He promised to call me with the results, if he wont, I have an appointment on the 17th.. I'll know more then for sure.
Overall, I think my condition is improving..until the next chemo probably. I rather have pain, which I can still tolerate, than feeling nauseous, itchy and sleepless.
At this point I have stopped taking the sleeping pills. Just eating Tylenol like M&M's.
I noticed that I have stopped itching.. yay!
My sleep has been getting a lot better.
My apatite is a lot better, in fact it seems that I cant stop eating.
Bad stuff:
My spleen has been hurting a lot more lately. Sometimes its continuous pain and sometimes its pulsating. I find that early in the morning the pain is either not there or very small. In the evening it seems to intensify. My doc said to take extra strength Tylenol, it seems to sorta work.. reduces the pain but doesn't eliminate it.
Also when I breath, the pain seem to go from spleen to my left shoulder.
There is a pinpoint on my right side (liver side) where I get even stronger pain than the spleen.
I went to see the doc today, he said my spleen seems to be smaller (good thing) but the fact that I have pain its a bad thing. We did a CT scan, and should have the results soon. He promised to call me with the results, if he wont, I have an appointment on the 17th.. I'll know more then for sure.
Overall, I think my condition is improving..until the next chemo probably. I rather have pain, which I can still tolerate, than feeling nauseous, itchy and sleepless.
At this point I have stopped taking the sleeping pills. Just eating Tylenol like M&M's.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Back from Niagara Falls
The trip was amazing! The temperature was +10c ... whoever doubts global warming.. this is proof.
First we hit the wineries for some wine tasting ( I only had 1 small sip), everyone else had a sip and then some.
We got a nice bottle of wine and went to the Great Canadian Cheese Factory. Also bought some salami and buns on the way. We ended up having a picnic near a farm.. there was a pony not to far from us.
I didn't even feel nauseous or any pains at all. Then, we finally got into our hotel room, on 20th floor facing the falls.. really really nice. We went to The Keg .. a pricey place known for its steaks. Ordered a bunch of appetizers for the 80$ worth of credit we had. And I had a $41.00 + tax (13%) steak... T-Bone.. which was nice and soft, but I certainly didn't taste $41.00 worth of awesomeness. It was comparable to $15 steak at your regular bar.
By 9pm I started having some spleen pains, especially when walking or doing anything active. I noticed the bump (enlarged spleen) came back. It was it manageable pain, but still a lot of discomfort. When I was taking Prednisone (steroid pills), I remember noticing that the spleen became a lot softer and smaller in size. And I defiantly recall being relieved from the pain.
I will ask my doc on the 17th (my bday) about this. But as off right now, the pain is pretty much continuous at about 6-7 out of 10. Sometimes it spikes and reaches 10. I also started having sore throat and sensitive teeth. No fever, I measure it 10 times a day.
Then we took off to Dave and Buster's, we had $80 worth of credit to spend there.. that was pretty fun. By 9 or 10pm I felt enough pain that I had to go to our room for the rest of the night. I was very very tired also.
Next day, since morning, the pain stayed there at the same level. Sometimes I would not feel much, but still discomfort. I also find myself sometimes being disoriented a little, my gf confirms this also. Happened few times last couple of days. Had a little bit of issue answering a question. I also lost some more weight, about 2kg. Now I weigh at 80.00 kg, which is a new low for me. Still room to go.
Overall, I guess the symptoms are a bit worse. But it still beats being nauseous in my opinion.
On the way, we stopped at our friend's Mama's Pizza. He made us one delicious pizza which I still can taste in my mouth. Took us a while to get home cause we got stuck in traffic.
But Tema (cat) was very glad to see us. And it was well worth the drive.
p.s. if anyone has any advice on the mouth sores, please don't hesitate to comment.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
First Day of No Steroids!
Woohoo!
Finally no more steroids. I hope that will make my day a little better.
Yesterday I felt a bit bad - the sensation of being restless and tired. We went for a walk, but the spleen started to ache a bit, and we turned around. Still, was nice to get outside for some fresh air.
My appetite seems to be coming back, Tanya made delicious pasta yesterday, even asked for some extra.
I find out that I feel nauseous almost at specific times of day. I will keep an eye on the times, and see if I can make a schedule, then I can take the pills like 30 min in advance.
Tanya also bought me the Steve Jobs biography book, it seems to be really good. I cant stop reading it, though I never was a reader. So, I guess that's a positive outcome out of all this situation for now.
The hair is still there, attached firmly to my head and other parts of the body. I am having hard time imagining it would just start falling off - Tanya sometimes pulls really really hard on it, and it wont come off.
Today we are going to Niagara Falls - yay! We are planning on hitting some wineries on the way because there is an Ice Wine festival or something going on. I wont be drinking any, but sometimes they decorate the wineries really nice. So it will be a treat nevertheless.
Gotta remember to take the nausea, sleeping pills and my thermometer!
Our poor cat Tema will have to stay home alone for a night :( But, he been having so much company lately, I think he would appreciate chilling alone for a night. We told him no parties after 11pm.
Finally no more steroids. I hope that will make my day a little better.
Yesterday I felt a bit bad - the sensation of being restless and tired. We went for a walk, but the spleen started to ache a bit, and we turned around. Still, was nice to get outside for some fresh air.
My appetite seems to be coming back, Tanya made delicious pasta yesterday, even asked for some extra.
I find out that I feel nauseous almost at specific times of day. I will keep an eye on the times, and see if I can make a schedule, then I can take the pills like 30 min in advance.
Tanya also bought me the Steve Jobs biography book, it seems to be really good. I cant stop reading it, though I never was a reader. So, I guess that's a positive outcome out of all this situation for now.
The hair is still there, attached firmly to my head and other parts of the body. I am having hard time imagining it would just start falling off - Tanya sometimes pulls really really hard on it, and it wont come off.
Today we are going to Niagara Falls - yay! We are planning on hitting some wineries on the way because there is an Ice Wine festival or something going on. I wont be drinking any, but sometimes they decorate the wineries really nice. So it will be a treat nevertheless.
Gotta remember to take the nausea, sleeping pills and my thermometer!
Our poor cat Tema will have to stay home alone for a night :( But, he been having so much company lately, I think he would appreciate chilling alone for a night. We told him no parties after 11pm.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Day 3, a little better!
This is day 3 and I feel a little better. Yesterday I had the doc prescribe me some sleeping medicine (Lorazepam) and it did magic. I think I slept about 9 hours in the same position it knocked me out. Today, I don't have black spots under my eyes from lack of sleep. The pills are so tiny, makes me wonder how they can deliver so much punch.
Here is a pic of it:
Also, I noticed that my spleen no longer hurts as much.. I can even sleep on my left side now. I do feel nauseous after I take Prednisone steroids. But I got only one more day left to take them! Hope I will feel better after that.
My hair is still firmly attached to my head. Tanya (my gf) makes sure to check it every day by pulling pretty damn hard on it. Sometimes she does it when I'm still asleep!
I am losing some weight, but that's probably cause of no eating. I hope once the nausea feeling stops, I will start eating again. But I sure could lose another 10lb to bring me to the appropriate weight I should have.
Today is Friday. I hope I can feel alright to visit some friends, if not they said they would come over.
I got big plans for Sunday, we are going to Niagara Falls with some friends. We bought a good deal on DealFind (groupon like site). That gives us falls view hotel room, with casino money, dinner at The Keg, and some money for Dave and Buster's.
So I am looking forward to that, hopefully I will feel alright!
Happy Weekend everyone!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Day after chemo + more info about me
I got a minute right now. So I thought I'd tell you how things going so far.
I did not get much sleep at all. I was laying in bed for about 3 hours with my eyes closed, but just could not fall asleep. Only at about 4am I finally got some sleep.. sorta. Was rolling all over the bed, but at least something nevertheless. I woke up at 8am... immediately ate some cereal and took the 2 Prednisone pills. Hopefully by evening they will finally edge off and let me have some sleep. Otherwise, I'll continue to be a zombie for however many days it takes.
I also have moments when I feel nauseous, but i quickly think of something else and it seems to do the trick. I still haven't tried the anti puke medicine they gave me (Prochlorazine). It says on the label that its dangerous to drive a car with it, cause it will make you feel like your on LSD. I am also kinda hoping that my doc will give me a prescription to medicinal marijuana instead - kinda have more faith in it.
I've decided to tell you a little bit more about myself. I work as a day trader from home. I trade the commodities markets such as oil. Mostly, I trade the Emini SP 500 futures. I've been doing this for about 3 years now, but only recently enough to call it a decent income. I think this job suites me extremely well right now, because I do it from home.
I am or now more appropriate was, considered among my friends to be a healthy guy. I rarely got sick, and I avoided medicine like Advil and Tylenol most of my life. In fact, I must have taken less than 5 pills in the last 5 years prior chemo. I always let my body fight the little viruses I did catch. Never had a flu in the last 3 years. Never did the flu shot either. I eat a lot of home made food, with lots of veggies and fruits.
So this did come as a shock to me. But I don't blame anyone or anything. Although, I did live in the town that was one of the worst hit after the Chernobyl nuclear meltdown accident. I was 1 years old at the time of the accident. Continued to live there for about 5 more years. But, from my research on the subject, it appears to be that most kids that did suffer cancer, did so at the age of 5-7. But who knows, right? Point is, playing the blame game wont fix anything. Just have to deal with the current situation. Concentrate on the positive, and never give up, physically nor mentally.
I know this sounds cheesy, but it really really really helps to have the support of your family and friends. So if you are thinking of weather to tell your friends or not. In my opinion, do it, the earlier the better. They will make your journey easier. At least they do it for me.
I did not get much sleep at all. I was laying in bed for about 3 hours with my eyes closed, but just could not fall asleep. Only at about 4am I finally got some sleep.. sorta. Was rolling all over the bed, but at least something nevertheless. I woke up at 8am... immediately ate some cereal and took the 2 Prednisone pills. Hopefully by evening they will finally edge off and let me have some sleep. Otherwise, I'll continue to be a zombie for however many days it takes.
I also have moments when I feel nauseous, but i quickly think of something else and it seems to do the trick. I still haven't tried the anti puke medicine they gave me (Prochlorazine). It says on the label that its dangerous to drive a car with it, cause it will make you feel like your on LSD. I am also kinda hoping that my doc will give me a prescription to medicinal marijuana instead - kinda have more faith in it.
I've decided to tell you a little bit more about myself. I work as a day trader from home. I trade the commodities markets such as oil. Mostly, I trade the Emini SP 500 futures. I've been doing this for about 3 years now, but only recently enough to call it a decent income. I think this job suites me extremely well right now, because I do it from home.
I am or now more appropriate was, considered among my friends to be a healthy guy. I rarely got sick, and I avoided medicine like Advil and Tylenol most of my life. In fact, I must have taken less than 5 pills in the last 5 years prior chemo. I always let my body fight the little viruses I did catch. Never had a flu in the last 3 years. Never did the flu shot either. I eat a lot of home made food, with lots of veggies and fruits.
So this did come as a shock to me. But I don't blame anyone or anything. Although, I did live in the town that was one of the worst hit after the Chernobyl nuclear meltdown accident. I was 1 years old at the time of the accident. Continued to live there for about 5 more years. But, from my research on the subject, it appears to be that most kids that did suffer cancer, did so at the age of 5-7. But who knows, right? Point is, playing the blame game wont fix anything. Just have to deal with the current situation. Concentrate on the positive, and never give up, physically nor mentally.
I know this sounds cheesy, but it really really really helps to have the support of your family and friends. So if you are thinking of weather to tell your friends or not. In my opinion, do it, the earlier the better. They will make your journey easier. At least they do it for me.
Its February 1 2012 1:47am - my first night after chemo.
I've been tossing and rolling in the bed the whole time trying to fall asleep, but just cant. Its the worst feeling - tired but can't sleep. It's not that I am thinking about it or anything, I physically cannot fall asleep.
They told me the steroids - Prednisone - I have to take, 2 each day, for 5 days staright after first day of chemo, can cause issues falling asleep. Is this it? or is this just another general side affect of R CHOP chemo?
I hope it is just for 5 days...
I've been tossing and rolling in the bed the whole time trying to fall asleep, but just cant. Its the worst feeling - tired but can't sleep. It's not that I am thinking about it or anything, I physically cannot fall asleep.
They told me the steroids - Prednisone - I have to take, 2 each day, for 5 days staright after first day of chemo, can cause issues falling asleep. Is this it? or is this just another general side affect of R CHOP chemo?
I hope it is just for 5 days...
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
This is the story of all about how, my life got flipped all upside down!
My story started about 4 months ago with a very mild pain on my left side, at the bottom of the ribs.
On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst pain imaginable, I would have to give it about 3. It rarely bothered me, sometimes it gave me troubles sleeping on my left side.
Eventually the pain progressed, and appeared to be present whenever I did something active, such as going to a jog. At first I didn't consider it to be anything major. I was overweight (about 96kg and 171cm tall). I just moved in with my girlfriend, who pushed me to get off my big butt. So I thought, it was just my body getting used to exercise. I started losing weight. Again, I was thinking that my diet changed since I moved out + I started exercising.
The pain would not go away, but it would not get worse either. One day I decided to go to a walk in clinic to get it checked out. The doc said it was muscular pain, which I found to be odd. She told me it should go away within few days, and that I should stop exercising for a few days. So I did. But the pain did not go away.
That's when I decided to make an appointment to my family doctor. When I came to see him, he said he could feel my spleen being firm and oversize under my ribs (he actually pushed his fingers under my ribs, ouch). He told me that it's not good, and ordered a barrage of tests including X Ray, Ultra sound, CT scan, blood tests, urine tests. When all the results came back, they showed some lesions on my spleen, and 1 slightly enlarge lymph node near my pancreas.
My family doctor told me right away that its lymphoma, a term I've never heard before. He said not to freak out, which concerned me, but said it can be cured with some medicine, after which I didn't think of it as much.
He then sent me to a hematologist for more testing. That appointment must have been 3 weeks away.
Meanwhile, I started looking for reasons for spleen enlargements. It must have been 2 days of searching until I finally found lymphoma as the reason, and remembered that what the doc said it was.
That's when I started worrying a lot. The worst part was not knowing. I just knew tiny bits about chemotherapy, mainly the really horrible side affects. To be truthful, I almost had a breakdown. I wanted to avoid chemo at all costs. I started reading about alternative therapies. But unfortunately non of them offered any hard proof of success. That's when I started looking at chemo, learning everything I could about it. The terminology is tough, but my girlfriend is a biotech major, so she helped a lot deciphering the code.
I concentrated on credible sources of information like American Cancer Society and Leukemia & Lymphoma Support Foundation of Canada.
Meanwhile, I was lucky to be transferred to another hematologist/oncologist at the Princess Margaret Hospital.
This pretty much the cancer hospital in Canada, and one of the best in the world (Canada spends almost all of its medical research budget on cancer).
On the very first appointment with Dr. Michael Crump at PMH (Princess Margaret Hospital). We did a bone marrow biopsy(ouch), and scheduled a spleen biopsy. By this time, I already had the symptoms of a lymphoma. I lost weight (about 12kg), loss of appetite, and can barely do anything that's very active because of the pain. I also itch like crazy. And my spleen grew to the size of about 2 golf balls, and can be easily seen with naked eye, as it is already coming out from below the ribs.
I had the misfortune of doing all of the biopsies during the holiday season (Christmas and New Years). That made the wait time unbearably long. I think it was about 3 weeks before I got my bone marrow biopsy back. Which showed negative for lymphoma (boy was I happy). Shortly, it was time to do my spleen biopsy. Once on the operating table, the surgeon decided not to go for the spleen, but go instead for the lymph node near the pancreas. I said do what you think is best. Because operating on the spleen can cause it bleed, and could result in removal of the organ.
The results came back shortly after, INCONCLUSIVE! how torturous! ahhh!. That means I have to do it again. On the next appointment with Dr.Crump, he surprised me when he told me that he wanted to do another bone marrow biopsy, this time the left side. I was not happy. But I agreed, I needed to know what it was ASAP. He expedited another spleen biopsy appointment. And made sure that the head of pathology department of the hospital (Toronto General) analysed the sample.
3 days later, I was back on the operating table, and this time they did go after the spleen. Everything went smooth. I think it was about 1 week after the biopsy, when they called me and gave me the results of both biopsies.
The bone marrow biopsy showed fibrosis, which is indicative of early lymphoma activity.
The spleen biopsy did show Diffuse Large B Cell Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
I did not know how to react. All I could think is how do I go about telling my parents. I am the only child, and they both had mothers die of cancer. This would kill them. The only thing I had going for me, is that they were in the process from the start. And I kept telling them, that according to statistics, there is 90% cure rate. Just to prepare them for the worst possible scenario. It helped them a lot. They took it a lot better than I thought they would. I am happy.
They told me that the next day I would have chemo... great and not so great. Chemo can make you sterile, although it happens rarely, I do not want to risk it. I rushed to the sperm bank, and they said they can only do it tomorrow.. the day of chemo, which is at 9am. However, they were supppppppper nice about it, and said they would open the clinic just for at 7am! Thanks Mount Sinai!
Today is is January 31 2012. After a rough night of almost no sleep, I woke up at 5:45am. 6:15am the taxi was already waiting for me to drop me off at the clinic. Everything went fine.
Then it was time to wait for the chemo, about an hour and half. I was nervous. But my girlfriend was there for me, she calmed me down.
This is the pic of me getting my first R CHOP chemo!
It went fine. I just feel super duper tired. But thats because of lack of sleep + the nurse giving me benedryl which sent me to sleep, and she kept waking me up for blood pressure and temperature tests. Every 10 min!!
Its 8:52pm right now, and I am about to go to sleep. Good night!
p.s. I promise not to make such big posts in the future.
The next appoitment up on the menue is a follow up with Dr.Crump on my birthday! Feb 17.
I will let you know how that goes.
By the way, the R CHOP chemo is given every 3 weeks, for 6 cycles.
On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst pain imaginable, I would have to give it about 3. It rarely bothered me, sometimes it gave me troubles sleeping on my left side.
Eventually the pain progressed, and appeared to be present whenever I did something active, such as going to a jog. At first I didn't consider it to be anything major. I was overweight (about 96kg and 171cm tall). I just moved in with my girlfriend, who pushed me to get off my big butt. So I thought, it was just my body getting used to exercise. I started losing weight. Again, I was thinking that my diet changed since I moved out + I started exercising.
The pain would not go away, but it would not get worse either. One day I decided to go to a walk in clinic to get it checked out. The doc said it was muscular pain, which I found to be odd. She told me it should go away within few days, and that I should stop exercising for a few days. So I did. But the pain did not go away.
That's when I decided to make an appointment to my family doctor. When I came to see him, he said he could feel my spleen being firm and oversize under my ribs (he actually pushed his fingers under my ribs, ouch). He told me that it's not good, and ordered a barrage of tests including X Ray, Ultra sound, CT scan, blood tests, urine tests. When all the results came back, they showed some lesions on my spleen, and 1 slightly enlarge lymph node near my pancreas.
My family doctor told me right away that its lymphoma, a term I've never heard before. He said not to freak out, which concerned me, but said it can be cured with some medicine, after which I didn't think of it as much.
He then sent me to a hematologist for more testing. That appointment must have been 3 weeks away.
Meanwhile, I started looking for reasons for spleen enlargements. It must have been 2 days of searching until I finally found lymphoma as the reason, and remembered that what the doc said it was.
That's when I started worrying a lot. The worst part was not knowing. I just knew tiny bits about chemotherapy, mainly the really horrible side affects. To be truthful, I almost had a breakdown. I wanted to avoid chemo at all costs. I started reading about alternative therapies. But unfortunately non of them offered any hard proof of success. That's when I started looking at chemo, learning everything I could about it. The terminology is tough, but my girlfriend is a biotech major, so she helped a lot deciphering the code.
I concentrated on credible sources of information like American Cancer Society and Leukemia & Lymphoma Support Foundation of Canada.
Meanwhile, I was lucky to be transferred to another hematologist/oncologist at the Princess Margaret Hospital.
This pretty much the cancer hospital in Canada, and one of the best in the world (Canada spends almost all of its medical research budget on cancer).
On the very first appointment with Dr. Michael Crump at PMH (Princess Margaret Hospital). We did a bone marrow biopsy(ouch), and scheduled a spleen biopsy. By this time, I already had the symptoms of a lymphoma. I lost weight (about 12kg), loss of appetite, and can barely do anything that's very active because of the pain. I also itch like crazy. And my spleen grew to the size of about 2 golf balls, and can be easily seen with naked eye, as it is already coming out from below the ribs.
I had the misfortune of doing all of the biopsies during the holiday season (Christmas and New Years). That made the wait time unbearably long. I think it was about 3 weeks before I got my bone marrow biopsy back. Which showed negative for lymphoma (boy was I happy). Shortly, it was time to do my spleen biopsy. Once on the operating table, the surgeon decided not to go for the spleen, but go instead for the lymph node near the pancreas. I said do what you think is best. Because operating on the spleen can cause it bleed, and could result in removal of the organ.
The results came back shortly after, INCONCLUSIVE! how torturous! ahhh!. That means I have to do it again. On the next appointment with Dr.Crump, he surprised me when he told me that he wanted to do another bone marrow biopsy, this time the left side. I was not happy. But I agreed, I needed to know what it was ASAP. He expedited another spleen biopsy appointment. And made sure that the head of pathology department of the hospital (Toronto General) analysed the sample.
3 days later, I was back on the operating table, and this time they did go after the spleen. Everything went smooth. I think it was about 1 week after the biopsy, when they called me and gave me the results of both biopsies.
The bone marrow biopsy showed fibrosis, which is indicative of early lymphoma activity.
The spleen biopsy did show Diffuse Large B Cell Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
I did not know how to react. All I could think is how do I go about telling my parents. I am the only child, and they both had mothers die of cancer. This would kill them. The only thing I had going for me, is that they were in the process from the start. And I kept telling them, that according to statistics, there is 90% cure rate. Just to prepare them for the worst possible scenario. It helped them a lot. They took it a lot better than I thought they would. I am happy.
They told me that the next day I would have chemo... great and not so great. Chemo can make you sterile, although it happens rarely, I do not want to risk it. I rushed to the sperm bank, and they said they can only do it tomorrow.. the day of chemo, which is at 9am. However, they were supppppppper nice about it, and said they would open the clinic just for at 7am! Thanks Mount Sinai!
Today is is January 31 2012. After a rough night of almost no sleep, I woke up at 5:45am. 6:15am the taxi was already waiting for me to drop me off at the clinic. Everything went fine.
Then it was time to wait for the chemo, about an hour and half. I was nervous. But my girlfriend was there for me, she calmed me down.
This is the pic of me getting my first R CHOP chemo!
It went fine. I just feel super duper tired. But thats because of lack of sleep + the nurse giving me benedryl which sent me to sleep, and she kept waking me up for blood pressure and temperature tests. Every 10 min!!
Its 8:52pm right now, and I am about to go to sleep. Good night!
p.s. I promise not to make such big posts in the future.
The next appoitment up on the menue is a follow up with Dr.Crump on my birthday! Feb 17.
I will let you know how that goes.
By the way, the R CHOP chemo is given every 3 weeks, for 6 cycles.
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